Fun Amazon Tool

Scroll down through an Amazon listing for a book, and under "Inside this book" you can find a link for 'text stats'. It's got all sorts of fun stuff for a numbers geek like me, like percentage of words that are complex (e.g. three syllables or more), words per sentence, and words per dollar. A few famous selections:

War and Peace: 11% complex - 19.2 words per sentence (wps) - 52,888 words per dollar (wpd)
Oliver Twist: 9%, 19.3 wps, 25,204 wpd
Huck Finn: 3%, 19.1 wps, 22,006 wpd
Old Man and the Sea: 3%, 14.3 wps, 2,845 wpd
Billy Bathgate: 7%, 25.5 wps, 10,830 wpd
To Kill a Mockingbird: 8%, 12.6 wps, 3,405 wpd

This just confirms my conclusion that Billy Bathgate rambled endlessly. It's got sentences twice the length of 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. For further comparison, take Hegel's 'Phenomenology of Spirit' (the densest book of arcane Germanic philoso-babble I could think of), which has 18% complex words and 25.1 words per sentence. If your sentences are just as long as Hegel's, you should look into hiring a good editor. I should also note that you get a much better deal on Hegel than on Billy Bathgate (16,470 words per dollar as compared to 10,830).

Of course, these are all pretty smarty-farty books. So I looked up a couple of books that Kir and I have read recently. 'Eat, Pray, Love' has 10% complex words and 16.9 words per sentence. 'Ender's Shadow' has 8% complex words and 11.6 words per sentence.

So here's a good question. Do books written primarily for guys (like Ender's Shadow, a science fiction novel) normally have less complexity in structure than books for women (like Eat, Pray, Love)?

Chad Vader

I'm not sure I can do justice to the genius that is "Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager". ("Yes, my master." "Dude, just call me Randy.") Leave it to some kids in Madison to come up with this. Thanks to Sig for putting me onto this.

Let's Go Blue

I'm not sure whether to be very frustrated or very excited by Michigan's 7 game win streak. I love that we are peaking towards the OSU game, I'd love to knock them off their unwarranted #1 perch. We're up to #12 in the BCS, ahead of Texas, Auburn, USC, and Florida. (If we played those 4 teams, though, I think 1-3 is as likely as 3-1. ) But this win streak just makes the Appalachian State and Oregon losses look that much worse. Where was this team two months ago?

On hockey, I know Boston U. is down a little, but any time you can beat that school 4-2 and 6-2 in a weekend, that's a solid accomplishment. More freshman kicking in. Matt Rust with 2G and 1A for the weekend, and Caporusso handed out an assist this weekend as well. It's time now for the CCHA to get rolling, so we'll see if this rolls over to conference success. Does Billy Sauer get a day off ever? Or does Red want to continue to have his goalies set records for minutes, games, and wins in a season?

I watched the end of the Patriots/Redskins game. My boy Brady is fantastic, but have you every seen a professional team run up the score like that before? Throwing on fourth down while you are up 49-0? I think right now it would be an upset for them to not actually cover a spread, much less lose a game. I think the Pats should change their logo back to the hiking patriot guy giving everyone the finger.

The US Weekly Pool is back!

I'm opening up a new season of fantasy celebrity watching. There are new rules this year in order to make this easier for a) you to enter and play and b) me to manage. So here goes:

1. Each player has to pick a list of 15 celebrities that they think will show up in US Weekly pictures most often over the course of the new "season". You will keep your 15 celebrities for the whole season - there is no changing of your lineup week to week (Eck!). There is no draft, you just pick 15 celebrities you think will be popular/drunk/knocked-up enough over the next few months to show up repeatedly in US Weekly. Yes, it is possible that we all could pick the same person for our team (hello, Britney) except for rule #2.

2. You may NOT pick any of the "big five": Britney, Paris, Angelina, Aniston, or Jessica Simpson.

3. There are two "seasons" a year. The winter season runs from the Emmy's (middle of Sept) to the Oscar's (March-ish). The summer season runs from the Oscar's to the Emmy's. So if you join now, we are in the middle of the winter season, and your list of 15 celebrities will collect points up until the first US Weekly issue following the 2008 Oscars. At that point you can completely rearrange your lineup for the new season.

4. Scoring. Each week your celebrities gain points based on the pictures (you don't really think I'm going to read this crap) contained in US Weekly. Here's the basic breakdown:

• Main cover shot: 5 points
• Inset cover shot: 3 points
• All interior pictures: 1 point
• A "Fashion Police" picture: -1 point

In addition to the standard scoring, this year I'm instituting bonus points for special circumstances. Note that these do not require an actual picture, but must be recorded somewhere in US Weekly (this is Kirstin's job):

• Enter rehab: 3 points
• Give birth: 3 points
• If the baby is illegitimate: 4 points
• Get divorced: 2 points
• Get married: 1 point
• Arrest: 1 point
• Jail time: 2 points (must be in the clink for MORE than 24 hours)

5. I'll keep track of points for everyone on a weekly, monthly, season, and lifetime basis. The current standings will be posted on this blog each week. The prizes for each time period are as follows:

• Weekly: A smug smile
  
• Monthly: The ability to sneer at your lesser competitors
• Season: You will be allowed to possess the illustrious gold spray-painted Barbie on a stick that is the official US Weekly Championship Trophy (at least until the next season's winner gets to have it - it's kind of like the Stanley Cup)
• Lifetime: Dominion over all that you survey and power over both life and death

6. No pansies. That is, you can't sign up as a couple. It's a low maintenance league, so man up and pick your own list (that means you Alex and Bryan).

7. Team names. This year I'm requiring a team name. Your points don't count unless you have a - preferably tacky or offensive - name for your collection of pimps, ho's, and addicts. My team, for example, is going to be called "The Boob Jobs".

8. Signing up. Either 1) leave a comment on this blog post with your name, your team name, and your list of 15 celebrities or 2) e-mail me at dietz.vollrath AT gmail.com with your team name and your 15 celebrities.

9. We've got a real hippie vibe this year. Invite your friends and enemies, the more the merrier.

Spam, spam, spam, spam. spammity spam!

Yes, that's a map made of spam. This is art I can understand. Full link here.

I am shocked!

Kid Rock jailed in Georgia waffle house brawl, released

Birthday Cute

I know that all you care about is cute pictures of the kids - so here goes. Maddie's birthday party was this weekend. I'll stick a few choice photos here. Just imagine a sugar-induced bout of hyperactivity, combined with some form of Ebola that caused a continual runny nose. Good times!