Tuesday, January 8, 2008

We're Back!

I know that information on the US Weekly pool has been lacking recently. Christmas, New Years, relatives in town, and a work conference in New Orleans last weekend conspired to keep me off the interweb for a while. But have no fear, here are some updated results:

Month of December:
1. The Boob Jobs (161)
2. F-ing French (150)
3. Ocean's Fifteen (121)
4. Dina Lohan's Playgroup (120)
5. CM's (118)

First Week of January:
1. The Boob Jobs (32)
2. Dina Lohan's Playgroup (28)
3. F-ing French (21)
4. CM's (19)
Fourteen Freaks and Kid (19)

Season:
1. The Boob Jobs (238)
2. F-ing French (210)
3. Dina Lohan's Playgroup (186)
4. Ocean's Fifteen (171)
5. CM's (166)
Fourteen Freaks and a Kid (166)

Honestly, this is getting embarrassing. People are going to start thinking I actually pay attention to this stuff. I guess I'll get to hang on to the golden Barbie trophie for another few months. (For information, the Oscar's are Feb. 24th - so you've all got about 6-7 weeks to recover).

Thursday, December 27, 2007

US Weekly Update

On holiday break - we'll get a double week of scoring early next week.

Don't you all wish you had picked Jamie Lynn?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Pre-Christmas Cute


Like little blond monkeys.

The Wire

We started watching "The Wire" (Season 1), recently. I've heard nothing but glowing reviews about this show, and since I grew up slinging crack in the 'hood with my homeys, I thought I'd check it out. (Editors note: for "slinging crack" read "feeding chickens", for " 'hood" read "barren tundra of central Wisconsin", and for "homeys" read "dog").

Quick premise of the show: good cop with bad attitude gets special assignment to take down new-style drug lord who runs a tight crew and so far hasn't been caught for anything. Wait, that's the plot of American Gangster. Well, this is the T.V. version, with different names and fewer afros.

So far, the show is good. Not as great as the reviews made it out to be, but to be fair, I've been told that it's the second season that really shines. I was thinking about the show, though, and I think the #1 element that makes the show good is the language. The dialogue is snappy - not quite up to 'West Wing' standards for both speed and wit, but high quality nonetheless. But more than the dialogue, what really stands out is the artful use of foul language.

This is not just curse-word carpet-bombing (e.g. Sam Kinnison). This is swearing that just ripples out in the normal course of conversation. You've got to believe that these cops and drug dealers really do talk like this. Why do you believe? Because you talk like that. They swear at the right times, with the right inflections. They swear because they're not supposed to be literature majors, but cops and drug dealers.

There is a scene in one of the first episodes where McNulty and Bunk (the irascible cop and his smooth partner) visit a crime scene to recreate what happened. The scene takes maybe 5 minutes. At about the 2 minute mark, Kirstin and I realize that the only words spoken so far in the scene have been f*$& or some variant thereof. We lean forward, expectantly, like we're watching someone walk a tightrope. "Can they do it? Can they make it through?" And for the next three minutes, these two cops say nothing but f#*$ and the myriad permutations of f&^@ that you all know and love. Five straight minutes. They never raised their voices. The best part was that in the context of the scene, "f@&$" was always the exact right word. Brilliant.

This whole experience makes me realize how much I enjoy a good curse. I mean, when applied correctly, a swear word can be a thing of art. If you swear too much, it's crude. If you don't swear at all, then you've got something shoved too far up there.

At this point my Mom is shaking her head and wondering how I ended up this way. I'm sure my potty mouth has got to be on her top five list of things she wishes she could have changed in my youth.* She had no chance, of course (have you met my dad?). But never underestimate the power of the Iron Law of Motherhood: "I you can find a way to blame yourself, do so." **

So rather than continuing to ramble on about my particular fondness for a well-crafted f-bomb, let me wrap up by saying:

Happy F-ing Holidays

* The others, FYI, are (in no particular order): not liking vegetables, not going to church, not tucking in my shirt, and an inability to repress sarcasm.
** The Iron Law of Fatherhood, in contrast, reads: "Keep your children out of jail and/or strip clubs as much as possible."

Michigan Mountaineers

Now that we have West Virginia's old basketball coach AND football coach, I thought you might like to see what the words to "The Victors" will look like next year (It's "The Victors", NOT "Hail to the Victors". The former is the title, the latter is a line from the song.):

Let's give a rah for West Virginia
And let us pledge to her anew,
Others may be black or crimson,
but for us it's Gold and Blue.
Let all our troubles be forgotten,
Let college spirit rule,
We'll join and give our loyal efforts
For the good of our old school.

It's West Virginia, It's West Virginia
The Pride of every Mountaineer.
Come on you old grads, join with us young lads,
It's West Virginia now we cheer!
Now is the time, boys, to make a big noise
No matter what the people say,
For there is naught to fear; the gang's all here,
So hail to West Virginia, Hail!


So at least their colors are pretty close to Maize and Blue.

No word yet on whether the WVU lacrosse coach will be replacing Red behind the bench for the hockey team next season. Incidentally, we remain #1 in the CCHA at 11-1 in conference, 16-2 overall. Somehow we managed to get bumped to #2 nationally this week after being #1 last week. By Miami, no less, a team with a worse conference record. This freshman class continues to impress: they still occupy positions 3-7 on the team in scoring. Not to leave the old boys out, let's not forget that Kevin Porter (Sr.) leads the nation in scoring with 18-11-29.

Go Blue (and hope that Florida's bus explodes on the way to the bowl game).

Because you're not lazy enough..

This should use up those extra 10 minutes a day that you actually do work.

Tower Defense

It's like Tetris, but kind of like Centipede. Dangerous stuff. My advice if you decide to play: don't build lots of weapons - build a few and then upgrade them like crazy.

You were warned.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

US Weekly Update

Happy Holidays, I'm still kicking all your butts. Here's the latest round of scores:

This Week:
1. The Boob Jobs (53)
2. Ocean's Fifteen (45)
3. F-ing French (42)
4. Dina Lohan's Playgroup (41)
Fourteen Freaks and Kid (41)

December Total:
1. The Boob Jobs (86)
2. F-ing French (77)
3. Dina Lohan's Playgroup (72)
Los Chulos y Las Putas (72)
5. Ocean's Fifteen (67)

Season Total:
1. The Boob Jobs (131)
2. F-ing French (116)
3. Dina Lohan's Playgroup (110)
4. The Good, The Bad, and the Fugly (103)
5. Los Chulos y Las Putas (102)
Ocean's Fifteen (102)