Wednesday, November 14, 2007

US Weekly Update

For those of you interested in the US Weekly pool, I'm going to start the actual competition the weekend of Thanksgiving (that is, with the edition that we get at home that Friday). So if you want in at the start, make sure to e-mail me your 15 celebrities. The official rules can be found on a link at the left side of the page. (Don't worry, you can always enter later as well.)

For transparency, I thought I'd list my own roster publicly, so no one can accuse me of pulling a switcheroo. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present "The Boob Jobs"

1. Nicole Ritchie (duh, she' skanky AND she's got one in the oven)
2. Christina Aguilera (lower skank factor, always a risk for fashion police spread, but is going to pop one out soon)
3. Lauren Conrad (someone needs to tell me who she is and what she does, but every week she's in the magazine)
4. Katie Holmes (you should always have at least one cyborg on your roster)
5. Kate Hudson (I predict that she will drive the other Wilson brother to suicide as well)
6. Brad Pitt (oh God, he's so dreamy, and he - like - cares, you know? About all that Africa stuff and everything)
7. Jennifer Lopez (again, can't lose with B-list celebrities about to give birth - she'll sell her baby pictures in a heartbeat to get some press coverage)
8. Lindsay Lohan (getting trounced badly in her one on one battle with Britney to go off the deep end)
9. Reese Witherspoon (oh God, she's do dreamy, and she - like, cares, you know? About her kids and she seems all normal and stuff)
10. Carrie Underwood ("Must remain perky. Must remain perky. Must remain perky.")
11. Jessica Alba (dude, you could totally see her underwear in Fantastic Four - thank God for TiVo)
12. Tom Cruise (see #4)
13. Justin Timberlake (perhaps the one person in the world I'd like to punch in the mouth more than anyone other than Dick Cheney)
14. Pam Anderson (Large boobs? Check. IQ of a tree squirrel? Check. Unnatural lack of dignity? Check.)
15. Spencer Pratt (With that name, isn't impossible for him to NOT be an asshole?)

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