Friday, May 9, 2008

The fruits of my labor

Here's a nice top-10 list of the benefits of becoming a full professor. My favorite is probably getting to kill a student on the full moon, but the bobble-head night is cool too.

For the blissfully ignorant, there are generally four kinds of professors:
1) Adjuncts - do lots of teaching, not eligible for tenure
2) Assistants - do lots of research, pretend to like students, hoping to get tenure (hey, that's me)
3) Associates - did lots of research, overtly hostile to students, have tenure
4) Full - once did some research that no one remembers, are frightened by students, have tenure and enjoy the 10 benefits listed in the link above.

The distinction between associate and full is pretty lame, honestly, since getting tenure is the essential goal. It's like the difference between a Christmas present wrapped by me, versus a Christmas present wrapped by Kirstin. The gift is just as good, but one package looks a lot nicer than the other.

No comments: