Thursday, May 1, 2008

Turn in your man pass

I shall now commit male heresy:

I no longer want to watch Sportscenter.

It's true. Not because I no longer like sports, but because I just can't stomach the actual production of Sportscenter anymore. They have MTV'd themselves and shrunk the ratio of useful content (videos for MTV, game reports for ESPN) to dreck to somewhere around 1/10. Honestly, at what point do they just walk me through a few highlights from a game and then move on to the next game?

I love Barry Melrose as much as the next guy, but I don't care what he has to say when I'm looking for scores. John Clayton should be heard, but never seen (at least he got work as Pinocchio in the Shrek movies). For the love of God, Skip Bayless should be sent to work on one those "Dangerous Catch" crab boats - anything to keep him from talking.

Do I need to see a panel of 7 discuss the draft 6 days after it took place? Did they re-pick and not tell anyone? Are the highlights supposed to be better when Linda Cohn stands up?

Finally, why is that train wreck of a no-talent cheesemonger Chris Connelly involved in anything remotely related to a sports highlight show? If he tries to uplift my spirit any more with the true story of how a baseball/football/basketball/hockey player found purpose by meeting/e-mailing with/fathering some sappy kid with cancer/mental deficiencies/no-legs I'm going to sue his nasal-voiced overcombed puke-inducing ass for spiritual abuse.

Can I just see some clips from the Cubs/Brewers game today? Please?

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