Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Underpants!

So the potty education of Madeline is in full swing. While I certainly do not absorb (no pun intended) the full brunt of this chore, it has reminded me of the many rules and regulations concerning going peepee in the potty on a regular basis.

  • Stage I - In which the subject professes their undying love for all things underpants and does the happy dance when allowed to wear them.
    • Corollary: The wearing of underpants bears no mental relationship to the output of bodily orifices and hence Stage I involves a) changing the subject more often than with diapers, and b) mopping up attendant puddles
  • Stage II - In which the subject professes their abject horror for all things underpants and writhes in pain when forced to wear them.
    • Corollary: The subject will continue to demand the various treats and rewards that were made available in Stage I for successful use of the potty
  • Stage III - In which it dawns on the subject that peeing in the potty will stop the underpants from getting wet.
    • Corollary: This realization is not accompanied by any physical acuity in controlling the bladder, they now just feel bad when they have an accident
  • Stage IV - In which the subject stays dry during daylight hours, at which point many will suggest the child is potty trained
    • Corollary: Stage IV is only accomplished through militantly enforced visits to the potty every 20 minutes
  • Stage V - The subject puts it all together and actually alerts a parent prior to peeing
    • Corollary: This applies only to pee. All poops are still administered under Stage I and therefore it is quite likely you will end up cleaning poop out of their car seat.
At this point, we have just dipped into Stage IV. Maddie has actually remained dry for a whole day, but only by peeing approximately 0.25 ozs of fluid every 12 minutes.

We shall remain vigilant.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

We demand toy store poop stories!!!